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Monday, August 19, 2013

Chapter 39 - Shock of a Lifetime.

That Thursday, Nicki found herself among her friend, Lauren, as she explained to her what was going on in her life. It wasn't at all like Nicki to complain or act as if the world had just come down on her shoulders, so there had to be something bothering her to make her not seem herself. Drake, of course, knew that the situation they were going through was going to put a lot of stress on her but his job was to be there as her husband, and be there as her friend. When he had to leave for some hours, he put her closest associate to where she can watch over.

Lauren tried so hard ever since Nicki arrived to her house to get her to enlighten her just a little. But with Nicki being in a trance, it was difficult to try and see pass whatever it was. The liquid nearly came down the aisle but Nicki tried to be stronger. It was just something that her mom wanted to be. It was something that her mother was. So she had to keep that in mind every time a hardship came about.

"Onika, whatever it is, I'm here. I want you to talk to me about whatever it is that you feel is a burden over you." It's true that Lauren already kind of knew of the situation because of Drake, but she wanted Nicki to answer herself so that she could have follow up questions and assure that she would have to go through the tough things first in order to receive that gaiety, as it occurs in most situations.

"Lauren, I am so sorry," Nicki alerted, the tone shifting in her voice.

"Sorry for what?"

"I'm just not being myself. It-"

"I understand, Onika. You don't have to explain to me. There's a perfect reason why you feel the way you do and I don't blame you. Just do me a favor and tell me what has put you in an extraterrestrial state. I want to know why I lost you there for a second. You came to my door and you greeted me and whatnot. Then, all of a sudden, Bam! My Nicki went somewhere and I don't know to where. Talk to me."

"Well, it's just been a rough couple of weeks for me. Ever since Drake and I returned from Bora Bora, I've just been meeting a lot of stress. Like seriously, I haven't had this much stress since I was in school. I just don't understand why so much of it, you know? Like I feel this is unnecessary and it's cruel to me. I'm not like this. It's a different ball game when you're not the one in my shoes but I really don't think people realize that and it's just annoying. Plus I'm---nothing, it's just all over the place."

"No, it's not nothing. Is there something specific that you want to talk about. I know it may be hard to opt the main thing that may be bothering you but I know it's there."

"Well..." Nicki wanted to really say what was wrong but she felt that if she talked about it then it would just make her upset and uncomfortable. "Honestly, Lauren, I don't want to speak of it."

"But I know you and so I know that if you don't talk about it to someone then it shows in the way you carry yourself. I mean, I'm totally fine if you want to just talk to D about it because it might be more suitable with your husband but please understand that you need to get it out and that I am here."

"Okay..." Nicki started, taking a deep breath. "It's work and meeting expectations, it's the family driving nuts about certain things, it's the baby..."

"The baby? As in child? As in infant? As in pregnant?"

Nicki looked up from playing with her gold bracelet and bit her lip. "I'm nervous. I have a bad feeling."

"Onika, you're pregnant?!?"

"Well... no, I don't think I am right now and that's the issue. On top of everything else, I basically feel like I'm living up to this expectation of having children and pleasing everyone else. You see, me, I wanted to just wait a little longer but it's hard when you're in the middle and everyone is looking down on you, wanting and pleading, and getting upset over the fact that they want something and you haven't given it to them yet. It's frustrating  But I agreed to go ahead and start now but I don't feel time likes me. It's been a couple days and here I am still going about my day like I was, say, a week a go. Something's not right with that."

"You're focusing on the negative. Putting that stress on yourself doesn't make things better. The fact that you've just come back from vacation and you feel the need to stress--something's not right with that. Sometimes it just takes a couple of times to try, kind of like a test. Or maybe you just didn't get any symptoms  I will still get checked out to make sure and stop your trouble. But I want to tell you that it's a beautiful thing what you're doing. You're taking that time in your life to please your family, which it a hard thing to balance. But I'm sure you're fine. Don't become discouraged. I wish you nothing but the best. BTW, I can't wait to become an auntie," she smiled. "Oh girl, come and give me a hug."

Lauren pulled Nicki in for an embrace, which surprisingly cheered her up. Nicki kissed Lauren temple and thanked her. She then sat back and pulled out her cellular. She would have to take advice this time around because it was helpful to her and put her at ease.

Onika gleamed at one bland pregnancy home test two days later that sat among others, awkwardly positioned on her marble brown, white and gray sink. It was torture. It was bringing stress. Icy liquid surfaced her eye lids as she began to think and worry. Why did it have to take twenty tests to finally deliver a positive message? If that was even the case. All the test she took was saying the same thing. Disappointment and surrender made her stop. She angrily got up and stormed to the kitchen to get a zip lock bag and returned. As soon as she reached the bathroom, she grabbed all of the tests from the sink and stuck them in there. Because the situation was becoming stressful, a nap was a must to calm her nerves. She lie across the bed as if someone had just thrown her there and left for better.

Nicki was still asleep as Drake came into the house. As he ran up the stairs, happily to dish out good news, he found little clear pebbles trailed from his bedroom to the outside bathroom, but with no specific pattern. It didn’t seem right. He, with no rush, entered the room to see his wife crossed over the lace spread. Her hair reached from out her roots to any place elsewhere. He walked over to her and caressed the top half of her back. Then he picked up the clothes bin and took it to the laundry room.
Just as soon as he shut the door behind him, Nicki flamed up like a fire would. The heavy pressure of the door was too much. That was also starting to become a problem. Scratching the side of her head, her body made its way off from the bed. She followed his scent all the way to the lowest level. He had a delightful smell that wasn’t hard to find. He had been pouring some detergent in the washer. While he did, Nicki pulled one of the three doors shut; the laundry room had three doors for entrances because of how large it is. His head quickly made same direction to the nose that came from the door. How all of a sudden did the door shut with no air breezing through? Going to the door closest to him, the door diagonal to him shut. He stopped and stood there for a moment until the third door swung open. He made it over in time before that door decided to magically shut also. Behind the wall and outside of the door, he found a dry pair of eyes occasionally looking up to his. He brought his hand up to her forehead to feel it.

“Baby, what are you doing?” He stepped out of the room. “And where are your pants? Not that you not having on pants is a problem b--”

Her eyes traced up to his. He was befuddled, yet worried.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she admitted.

“Um, is everything good with you? You seem kind of out of it.”
She grabbed him and began to lead him somewhere.

“We need to talk.”

“Well okay then.”

They sat on the comfortable couches, her facing more to him. Sadness filled her eyes. There was something that was just really off. Out of all the time Drake had been with her, he never saw her look like something big had just walked out of her life.

“Baby, tell me what’s wrong,” he told her, impatiently.

“Okay so I think we need to make a trip to the doctor’s office.  I’ve taken these pregnancy test and they are all saying the same thing. It’s almost been two weeks, Aubrey, so I’m just so confused. I didn’t know conceiving a baby was supposed to feel like this.”
“But are there any signs?”

“Yeah,” she said, gently. “I didn’t get my menstrual.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I’m four days late. I’m hoping that means a good thing but I’m tired of worrying so I just want to see our progress.”

“Right. Whatever you want to do is fine with me; I’ll be there. We can do that. Do me a favor… go and take a hot shower and let me get dinner situated or did you eat yet?”

“You are truly everything,” she commented. “No,” she said, holding her stomach with the intentions of feeling and hearing growls. She wanted to tell him she wasn’t very hungry but it was best to do what he thought was best for that moment. The heavenly thoughts of hot water dressing her body with droplets were postponed as she said nothing and made it back to her room. At the exact same time, Drake contemplated on what to cook and or where to get it from. But before he did that, he had to make a personal call to Nicki’s doctor. It was only out of blessings that he would be able to check on her the next morning. Immediately after, he had to call 40.
“Yeah, what’s up?” 40 said through the other line.

“Hey, I need you to do me a favor. You’re with Ana right?”


“I need y’all to cancel for tomorrow. I probably won’t be able to make it. Onika is stressed. I’ve been observing this for a couple of days, truthfully. Just let me make sure she is okay and I’ll get back to you.

“Oh word? Take care of that woman for me, okay?” 40 joked.

“Ha! I will. Thank you. Later.”

“Alright, later.”

He was now standing in front of the sink, letting the suds of soap flatten on his skin. He rinsed and dried his hands with the deep gray cloth that was dangling on the side f the cabinet. Then he grabbed the contents needed to start dinner. This being his first time making a casserole, he google searched some recipes for goodness sake. The thing keeping him focused wasn’t how good the food was; he merely wanted to feed his despaired wife. He sprayed and assorted the veggies and other ingredients in the clear dish pan. Quickly he sprinkled spices over every layer. That process had only taken him a few moments. The next thing he has to do was work on the side dishes and drinks.

Nicki, almost an hour later, came strolling down the stairs, quietly. The mouthwatering and invigorating aroma of the assumed garlic bread brought her tongue to both of her lips. She stood back so she could watch the love of her life finish dinner. He was weighing the two cups of his hand, pouring a nice and very red drink into the glasses, his army green shirt hugging his muscles. The radio, near the window, played soft jams. Being that his serious and focused face had appeared, she couldn’t refrain from snickering. He looked sexy to her while he sat the glasses back on the counter. She knew he was almost finished so she went in the den and watched some TV. In the interim, Drake turned off all the sires and made sure his plates were nice. He then headed upstairs to get her not knowing she had already come down. She figured he was looking for her after hearing her name bring called. Once he found her in the den, he smiled softly and offered his hand out to her. He took her in the dining room area and got her settled. Her brought her plate and drink and said a little grace over the food.  Just as soon as he was done, Nicki had dived into her food. She grew hungry over that hour and was really ready to eat. He smiled to himself knowing that he had done okay on the food. Either that or she was just really hungry.

“This is heaven,” she commented.

He grinned at her then asked, “Are you feeling any better?”

“Actually, I feel much better, thanks to you. I called my mom and talked to her for a couple of minutes too so I’m good. Enough about me. How was your day, babe?”

“No, never but it was good.” He decided to with hold on the good news until a later time. At these moments, he knew she was working hard and some attention wasn’t hard to give her. From his view now, she looked as content as she said she was. That’s truly where his happiness came from; knowing she was good emotionally, physically, and what not, set him on a road to being a happy man, rapper and husband. After dinner, Drake took the dishes to the sink. He had a little surprise for her after she wasn’t feeling so bloated. He peeked in the den every now and then to check on her as he stood against the wall in the hallway. Sooner than later he made way into the kitchen to make her dessert. It wouldn’t take more than five minutes to prepare. Since he once saw this on the television and had the factors for it, he knew exactly what he was doing.

For a splash of excitement, he drizzled a fresh lemon on top of the miracle whip and then delivered her dessert. She looked up when she felt his presence.

“Since you don’t like blueberries, lemon cranberry yogurt parfait for you, lovely.”

Her eyes grew animated the same time her tongue. She clutched the little floral bowl inside her hands and ate. She took a spoonful and put it up to his mouth so he could taste what he made.

“Mm, good but you go ahead. I’m not feeling dessert right now.”

“No, stay with me.”

“Okay,” he responded.

 He laid his head against the couch and they watched ATL for a few. Drake made little comments on how funny some of the scenes were. He rubbed and massaged her leg as she finishes eating.

“Thank you, baby boy,” she said after a while. “Weird, I am getting tired." She said, her legs reaching the floor and her finger pressing the power button on the remote.

“Alright. I’ll be up shortly.” He kissed her lips and found himself back in the kitchen, washing the dishes and putting up the food.

Making his way into their bedroom, he found her knocked out. It was starting to feel stuffy so he adjusted the temperature on the central air, hooked his phone on the charger, and then got into bed.

His alarm got then up the next morning. They were a couple of seconds on their way out the door to the doctor’s. They made it to the appointment safely, although there were multiple cars that seemed to be dealing with some outer space issues while driving. Walking off the elevator, they witnessed a young girl, shouting at the top of her lungs. Blood was seeping though the ace bandage that had covered her cut she got from a knife, they overheard her mom tell another woman. Cautiously the two went to the desk to alert the clerk why they were there and were on time.

“Your name?” April, the clerk, had said.

“Onika Maraj-Graham.”

“Gotcha. Just fill this out,” she said, handing over a clipboard, “and someone will be with you momentarily.”

They took a seat. Drake picked up a magazine and scanned through it, Nicki still filling out the papers. A nurse with short, gray and curly hair and skin the color of a milk chocolate bar had appeared.

“Onika Graham?” She looked around until she saw Nicki gather her purse and papers. All of her emotions hid behind her as she walked through the corridors that seemed to expand more and more the more she walked. She was directed to a room painted with blue and green circles. She got her blood pressure, height and weight checked. After being asked of any health concerns, she was left to scan the designs on the wall. Out of nowhere, she was starting to feel sick. Maybe it was the typical smell of a hospital. Or maybe it was just that her doctor was taking his time to come. He came in seconds after that thought.

“Onika,” he greeted. “Mr. Graham.” He also greeted Drake who was sitting in the leather chair in the corner.  “How are we feeling today? I got a call from hubby last night,” he chuckled. “He sounded like he needed some help shall I come to the rescue?”
“Yes,” she replied, nonchalant.

“All right, good. Now lay back.” He went over to the sink and washed his hands. Then he came back over to check on her body. He asked a few questions, her answering to the best of her ability. When he was done, she sat up and babbled on after being asked what problem she was having. She grabbed her purse and proceeded to pull out the zip lock bag. By now, anger had germinated within her soul.

“Dr. Parker, we’ve been trying for almost two weeks straight,” she started, individually slamming every pregnancy test down on the white patty-like paper until she slammed down the thirteenth one. “And I don’t and can’t understand these results. I was trying to let it not rattle in my bones but I’m a few days late for my period and I really don’t know what’s going on.” Drake was surprised. For one, he didn’t know she took so many and second, he didn’t know that she brought them and had the audacity to pull them out of the clear, plastic bag. The doctor looked as if this was the first time he saw someone do this.

“Okay…” he said, going to put on a pair of gloves. “Let’s take a look here.” He picked up the test and watched the black line go across the small screen. “What we’re going to do is look at an ultrasound just to make sure we don’t see anything that can be harmful and then we will continue with test.”

He picked up all the pregnancy test and tossed them in the trash. Then he had her lie on her back and lift up her shirt. He poured some cold, blue jelly on her stomach and rolled over her belly with the mouse. From what he could see, she seemed normal. There was nothing unusual that was there. He then went out and had her do another pregnancy test, in the style of a hospital. He left the room for a moment to give her some time to herself. Someone would have to come and do her blood work. She looked over to Drake, shaking her head but not saying a word. He didn’t want her to be worried about it so calm he remained. He began reading the information on the posters hanging around the room.

The nurse had been in the room a little after the doctor left. She made convo. with Nicki to try and draw some of the worry out of her. It was a tactic used for kids too. If they need shots done or even stitches, you make funny faces or you give them candy. This was the same. Nicki felt alleviation after talking to the nurse. Nurse Cindy cleaned the site with an antiseptic first. She took an elastic band and wrapped it around Nicki’s upper arm to apply pressure for the vein to bulge with blood. Nicki waited patiently as the nurse brought the needle closer to her skin. She inserted the needle to the inside of the elbow. She looks away to Drake feeling heavier pain than before. The nurse removed the needle and covered her skin with an adhesive bandage to cease the bleeding that had occurred.

After feeling a little light headed and throbbing in her arm, she sat back. The nurse left to cook up the results of the blood test. Drake got up and stood by her side. He grabbed a small rectangular notepad sitting by the sink and started fanning her face. He kissed her forehead and watcher her Dr. come back in after he received the results. Nicki sat up, slowly and waited for her doctor to speak.

“Well… I have the results of your test.”

Their ears flared up and they listened to what was next. He started to explain the point of taking the test and what it would it detect.  He went on to imply that her HCG level wasn’t very high and FSH levels elevated. This made her grab onto to Drake’s hand.

“…and this diminished ovarian reserve is a condition where the quantity of eggs is decreased, this making it a little difficult… you know, to conceive,” his words so careful constructed to deliver the news to not augment the bruises already breathing on her sentiments. “What are like to do in these cases is give the patient a list of different options since there are a number of reasons behind the cause of it.” And then he went on about getting this list, plus additional information about infertility. Nicki had nothing else to do but be shocked and in a daze. After she had looked at the papers, she didn’t want to have to go through another process to have a baby. She wanted to do it the normal way and everything be okay.

Drake, lost for words and also shocked, could only do what she wanted and what she needed. He held her tight in his arms, her forehead pressing through the fabric of her shirt. Once he gave her few words, it made her realize that although this is something she would have never thought of dealing with, she has a purpose in life and they were both strong even to deal with it together.  He wasn’t trying to make her forget about it because news like that was just simply hard to forget. He just didn’t want her to fall into a deep and life threatening depression.

They headed out after the doctor’s appointment to pick up a prescription then to home. Drake was quiet and wanted to say something but didn’t want to upset her or make her anymore sad. He held her hand and flashed a quiet grin at her although she wasn't looking at him.

Randomly while almost falling asleep, Nicki sat up and reached over to kiss him on the cheek while he was driving. She had dried tear stains on her cheeks but that didn’t stop the lovely feeling of support she got from him.

“Thank you, Aubrey for always being there for me. We will get through this… I know that’s what you want to tell me.”

For a new Dricki story, you can follow this link and engage yourself! Tweet @MissMinaj341 for more.
Simmy :*

1 comment:

  1. Aww I feel so sorry nicki:( and drake is so sweet, I can't wait till the next chapter


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